The Shadow
My Constant Companion - The Yin to my Yang
My shadow or twin as I now call her, is always with me
The one constant. She holds the parts of my personality I feel inclined to hide.
Interestingly, she has got lighter and brighter with almost complete self-acceptance, of my perfection in being an imperfect, but evolving human being.
The acceptance of all of me, is probably the biggest gift I have received in my life, yet…
My shadow became more visible to me a few years ago, when I got seriously back into photography. Often out running in the early morning or evening, I would notice how the light showed a dark reflection, often distorted, due to the angle of the light - and it made me quite interested in exploring this very real, but not immediately obvious aspect that psychologists refer to as the parts we try and hide.
Satori - Instant Awakening
I was never trying to be an angel, but did start to question which parts of me I still felt the need to try and cancel, and how I hid behind various masks to protect my most faithful ally.
It fairly quickly led to a life recce, and an understanding that actually all of me is ok. I came to planet Earth to learn and grow, Perfection is not required, in my opinion. Working to improve what we can and most importantly focus on the 80% light without ignoring the 20% areas requiring a bright torch, is enough. We are humans, evolving at the speed that is right for us. All same, same but different in terms of showy aspects and whether we choose to explore them.
When I radically accepted, I am me, a full package with integrity and honesty and some areas still to improve, I felt freedom like I’d never known before. It was suddenly blindingly apparent that it is only our own perception and judgement of ourselves that matters. Most people are so absorbed in their own life, they don’t analyse us in any great depth. And if they do, and you/I/we receive feedback in whatever form, it is just another opportunity to dig into a dark corner or clear away a few more cobwebs.
Self-Love - Yawn
I don’t know how many times I have heard in the past; you need to love yourself. I did/do. I could never understand why they couldn't see that. But then when full self-acceptance enveloped me, I realised I also now love and respect love the dark dusty corners, and the perfection in imperfection. As we all are, I remembered I am a unique human being, attending the school of life. If I was already enlightened, I wouldn’t need to be here, a bit like why children, however clever they are, need to go to school.
A very irritating but useful phrase is ‘aim for progress, not perfection’. Competing only with yourself is also key to falling into avoidable traps.
As time passes, following trauma or transition, your ‘story’ that defined you, fades. Then all it takes is a quick ‘shake it off’ Taylor Swift-style and it loses all of its power. Life moves in cycles, as Carol Moss says, and ‘power will be returned’.100% acceptance and ability to share all of you to anyone (within appropriate boundaries) results in the ultimate gift of inner peace.
